So there's this boy...

i guess that you could call him an elder. cause that is exactly what he is right now. so a year and a month ago, i had the amazing experience of having the Lords will made known to me. even though i ignored it at first, He wasn't going to let me just pass by. so sure enough, He let me know what i had to do, which was to write this elder (a handsome young lad at that) a letter. the first letter i wrote was super awkward because i had no way of knowing if he remembered me. so i reintroduced myself. turns out he did remember me (which nearly put me on cloud 9). then came the next awkward part. avoiding the topic of "how i got his address". sweet mercy. spare me telling you that.
so we wrote, and gosh dang it was the most enjoyable experience. he is on such a spiritual high! it was totally and completely contagious. i loved writing him. i was so witty (I'm not witty on the spot. i have to have a minute or two to think of something) and he was puny. i was sarcastic, and he was spiritual, i thought of the best random, get to know you questions, and he told hilarious stories.
but all good things seem to come to an end.
and this did.
but I'm okay with it.
strangely enough.
i sent him a graduation announcement. along with a letter that summarized my life in the 3 months we hadn't written. but my mom came home from the adult session of stake conference and said a sentence or two about a talk that was given there. about missionaries following the rules 100%. as it turns out, he was breaking the rules by writing to me. i honestly don't know if he knew of these rules. anyways. i got the impression that i wasn't going to hear from him till the end of his mission. if ever again. strangely enough, i am at peace with it. normally when i think about how long it has been since I've heard from him (5 months) i feel crushed. so i am elated not to feel that awful feeling every time i think of him. its truely a blessing.
search for the Lords hand in all things. its there.

What Is This World Coming To?!

Turns out that this world is coming to its end.

You're probably thinking "well yeah its coming to an end! the economy is in the dumps!"

and yes, this is true,

but, would you like to know the real reasons why?

1. 
   
   because a child's lemonade stand got shut down by the county and then got fined $500 for not having a vendors licence.


2. 
   
   a demanded recall on all yearbooks for a child pornographic picture. in a seniors "congratulations" page from their parents.


3. 
   
   a pilot evacuates his plane when a passenger won't pull up his baggy pants.


4. 
   
   parents get arrested for printing pictures of their child in the bathtub.


5. 
   
   "Sex while speeding at 85 mph." yeah.. didn't click on that article.


6. 
   
   police call off search for escaped suspect because it "got too hot."

This, this is why the world is coming to an end.

My Oil.

I'm a big girl now. i went to the big kid Sunday school. adult Sunday school if you will. it was so great. i loved sitting with my dad through the meeting. its been so long since i have been able to do that. since he's been in the bishopric for the last 6 years. and is now bishop. so it was a big treat.
The lesson was on the 10 virgins. we talked about how only 5 of them made it in time to meet the bridegroom. 5. can we all take a second to think about what a significant loss this is. 5. out of 10. 50%. why such a big percentage lost? it boggles my mind! but lets compare it to us. in today's world. imagine losing 50% of your family. 50% of your ward. 50% of the church. all because we didn't prepare enough to meet Christ.
as of late, i feel i am to be one of the unprepared, one contributing to the 50% lost. my oil is depleted. i feel that my flame is starting to flicker and die. i don't want to be one of the 5 pounding on the door, begging the lord to open and let me in. i don't want to be told "I know you not." heaven knows this is not what my heart desires, that in fact, it would kill me.
I'm working on my imperfections. I'm receiving the much needed, soul saving oil drop by drop. I'm striving to be 1 of the 5 who make it. I'm not there yet. i lost the eternal perspective for a while. it was frightening. and it still is. its hard gaining lost ground, and it takes a long time and hard work to make up for lost time.
can i tell you what the most terrifying thing of this whole experience is? its knowing that you need help, knowing that your going down hill at break neck speed, yet not knowing how to stop. i think that i have reached the plato of this drop off. I'm now craning my neck looking up what seems to be a sheer cliff that i know i am to climb. looking at the intimidating backbreaking climb i have ahead of me has me shaking in my boots.

Stupid Boy.

That no good,
dirty rotten,
pen stealing,
popcorn theiving loser!

Okay, so maybe
i gave him the pen,
and maybe the popcorn was free,
but he's still a loser in my book.

Good Ol' St. George

So we went to St. George. and it was all that i had hoped for, and so so much more. the things that i was expecting include the following; the heat. that was not a let down. the sun, sun tans, shopping, ice cream, and total relaxation. things that i did not expect and are the things that i loved this trip for all the more; 5 friendships that i am sure will last a lifetime. and 2 friendships that evolved to a much more personal level. getting yelled at in the late hours of the night for "stealing my spot..." i love the 7 girls that i had the privilege to spend 4 days with. normally while spending 2 or more days with 2 or more females, the estrogen in the air becomes too much, and you nearly take each others heads off. this was not the case. not on my part anyways. i don't know how the other girls felt by 5:00 Monday evening. but i love these girls and have the utmost respect for them. i look forward to what the coming years have in store for these girls, and myself. and i fervently pray that as we all go our separate ways, to college, missions, marriage, and hair school, that we will always remember what this trip has done for us and the near nonexistent friendships that are no longer nonexistent, and not let it go to waste.