all i want

at this very moment is to talk to my mother. and i would, if it weren't 11:31 pm. and if i hadn't already called her twice today. i just really really want some one to talk to. and considering my roommate moved out of our room and into the one next door, (still in the same dorm room) i really have no one to talk to, not that she talked much in the first place anyways. but still. so i figured i'd blog. it makes me feel a bit better. today was such a great day. it really was. compared to yesterday, where i considered shooting my brains out. but i didn't. and im glad. because like i said, today was great! i talked to a lady about my major, and she gave me hope and enthusiasm. oh Sue. i so look forward to working with her.

for the strangest reason, i feel really lonely right now. well, i know it isnt all that strange. i miss home. more than words can say. i called my dad today, but didnt shed any tears. i was so proud of myself. and we talked for like 20 minutes. it was great to hear from him. and i called mom twice, i know i already said that, but then i got to talk to Derek for like 5 minutes. oh how i love him. and i also got to video chat with Cai!!! so fantastic. i miss her. i miss home. i miss my family. i miss my friends. i miss eating breakfast at the counter. i miss my little sister, who sobbed into my shirt the night i left. i miss my bed. i miss work. yikes. im really homesick...